I Live in Fear of Food

I thought I might be running out of interesting food poems and then I found this one.  "I Live in Fear of Food" really lays it out clearly for you, like "I Walked with a Zombie" or "Mars Needs Women".   I almost understand the sentiment, since I usually have some fearless mad scientist experiment going on in my kitchen.  I think Blue Oyster Cult would be the perfect soundtrack for this one.  

 

  

                    I Live In Fear of Food     

 
I love those food synthesizers on Star Trek.  
I loathe what’s in my refrigerator.

Not just the It’s Alive yogurt, 
plucky yeast & primordial sour 
dough mix, no, all natural things.

While sleeping I might snore
and some food could jump down my trachea.  
Who knows what its agenda is.

Remember, you can drown
in an inch of water and don’t play
in a refrigerator or plastic bag.

They say any natural substance 
in excess is a poison, even water.

Where there’s life there’s danger, I say.

Natural is the lurking evil,
it hides in purity, clings to life
in the fridge, so if you must sleep, do it sitting 
up against the purring reanimator box or just
sleep in your car.

 
1998