Sunday, February 10, 2008

Death by Hot Pockets

    Mein Gott im Himmel!  I repent!!

Forget the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  When the world ends, we will perish in a fiery blaze of molten cheese and meat-filled pastries.  

Hot Pockets!  

Apocalypse Pockets!

No need to microwave your Hot Pockets in Hell, just wave them over the Lake of Fire.

Hot Pockets!

Hell Pockets!

Hot Pockets Calzone 4 Meat & 4 Cheese

INGREDIENTS:  Water, Unbleached Enriched Flour (Wheat Flour, Malted Barley Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamin Mononitrate, Riboflavin Folic Acid), Cooked Italian Sausage (Pork, Water, Seasoning [Spices, Sugar, Garlic Powder, Natural Flavorings], Salt), Tomato Paste, Green Peppers, Part Skim Mozzarella Cheese With Modified Food Starch (Part Skim Mozzarella Cheese [Pasteurized Milk, Cultures, Salt Enzymes], Modified Food Starch), Imitation Mozzarella Cheese (Water, Modified Food Starch, Casein, Soybean Oil, Whey. Contains Less Than 2% of: Imitation Mozzarella Cheese (Mozzarella Cheese [Milk, Cheese Culture, Salt, Enzymes] Water, Casein Soybean Oil, Food Starch, Whey, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Salt, Sodium Phosphate, Lactic Acid, Natural Flavor, Sorbic Acid [As A Preservative], Artificial Color), Cheddar Cheese (Culture Pasteurized Milk, Salt, Enzymes, Annatto), Imitation Cheddar Cheese (Water, Modified Food Starch, Casein, Soybean Oil, Whey, Contains 2% or Less of Salt, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Sodium Phosphate, Lactic Acid, Sodium Citrate, Natural Flavor, Sorbic Acid [Preservative] Artificial Color), Sugar, Canadian Style Bacon Made with Pork Sirloin Hips, Chunked and Formed, Smoke Flavor Added (Cured with Water, Salt, Dark Brown Sugar, Dextrose, Sodium Phosphate, Smoke Flavor, Sodium Erythotate, Sodium Nitrate), Seasoned Cooked Beef (Beef, Water, Seasoning [Salt, Spices, Dehydrated Onion, Sugar, Dehydrated Garlic, Caramel Color, Natural Flavor]), Partial Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Seasoning (Salt, Sugar, Spices, Onion Powder, Methylcellulose, Romano Cheese [Part Skim Cows Milk, Cheese Cultures Salt, Enzymes] Garlic Powder, Xanthan Gum, Locust Bean Gum, Carmine, Disodium Phosphate), Seasoning (Parmesan Cheese, [Part Skim Milk, Cheese Cultures, Salt, Enzymes] Maltodextrin, Whey, Salt, Disodium Phosphate] Dehydrated Red Bell Pepper, Spice, Partially Hydrogenate D Soybean Oil, Maltodextrin, Worcestershire Sauces Solids, [Molasses, Vinegar, Corn Syrup, Salt, Caramel Color, Garlic, Sugar, Spice, Tamarind, Natural Flavor (Dehydrate Parsley, Salt, Citric Acid, Natural Flavor, [From Whey], Potassium Chloride, Sugar, Lactic Acid, Cultured Whey, Calcium Lactate), Baking Powder (Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Sodium Bicarbonate, Corn Starch, Monocalcium Phosphate), Partially Hydrogenated Palm Kernel Oil (With Soy Lecithin, Citric Acid As Preservative), Dough Conditioner (Calcium Sulfate, Salt, L-Cysteine Hydrochloride, Garlic Powder, Tricalcium Phosphate, Enzymes, Wheat Starch), Locust Bean Gum, Modified Food Starch, Modified Potato and Corn Starches, Yeast, Parmesan Cheese (Made From Pasteurized Milk, Cheese Culture, Salt, Enzymes), Locust Bean Gum, Modified Food Starch, Modified Potato And Corn Starches, Yeast, Salt, Monocalcium Phosphate, Rice Flour, Tapioca Dextrin, Dried Egg Yolks, Leavening (Sodium Aluminum Phosphate Sodium Bicarbonate), Dextrose, Caramel Color, Xanthan Gum, Soy Flour.


Owl Meat said...

Oops, I lost the earlier comments. Sorry Rob and Pigtown. I'm still figuring this process out.

Pigtown-Design said...

you're hilarious... i am all for having baby jesus as my co-pilot!

Owl Meat said...

Zoom zoom, Baby Jesus has taken an early lead!